


5 times that Ted Cruz Swears he didn’t change his mind  (and one time Marco Rubio changed it for him)

by Punstm



Category: 2016 election, American Polotics, Crubio - Fandom, Marco Rubio - Fandom, Republicans - Fandom, Ted Cruz - Fandom
Genre: Fisting, M/M, Politics, Republicans, sexy-time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 05:12:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6270952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punstm/pseuds/Punstm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>M/M, don’t like don’t read!!!!, pwp, fluff, fisting</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 times that Ted Cruz Swears he didn’t change his mind  (and one time Marco Rubio changed it for him)

**Author's Note:**

> who's ready for some sexy-time, republican style??????????

“Ladies and gentlemen, I would never betray this country!” cried Ted Cruz, forehead glistening with the sweat of passion. He had just finished his press conference on his tendency to be fickle in his opinions, specifically regarding the LGBT+ community. Of course he knew what he believed in. His black hair fell forward a bit as he headed off stage, away from the stress of reporters. The held their microphones up to his face as desperation rolled of their heavily-contoured faces like tears.  
He left the room only to be bombarded by campaign advisors. 

“Ted, we need you to specify. The public is getting antsy and they have a hard time trusting you. You need to tell them- are you for or against gay rights?” said Cecilia, the dark-haired and pretty one.

“Against! You know that! Being gay is, it is, well it’s bad,” he stuttered. His already-sad eyebrows turned up to give him the face of a hurt puppy, more so than usual. He was against The Gays. He had to be. “I need a rest.”

“Don’t be too long. You have a flight to Phoenix in three hours,” said Cecelia.

Ted was exhausted. He speed walked to his hotel room, passing a whirlwind of guards to get in there faster. He shut and locked the door quickly behind him and practically floated to huis bed. He had already rested his large neck on the pillow when he noticed someone else’s presence. Turning to the side, he knew he instantly recognized the face of the man who sat in the chair across the room. The familiar brown hair, combed to the left like a small boy on the first day of school. Upon eye contact, the man’s eyes crinkled into a smile. 

“I thought I’d find you here, Ted,” commented the man, large ears shaking ever so slightly with every word.

“Marco Rubio!?!” cried Ted.

Marco gave the slightest chuckle and looked down at his folded hands for a second before responding. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

“In my hotel room?!” Ted was flabbergasted. 

“Well, it’s a very personal matter.” Marco grinned just a little bit wider as he started to get up. “I hope you understand.” He walked towards the king sized bed. 

“Just say what you mean,” Ted sighed.

“Oh, don’t pretend you haven’t noticed it too,” Marco suggested as he sat down slowly next to Ted, “I saw how you looked at me during the debates. Don’t think I haven’t heard that you talk about me more than the other candidates.”

“What are you insinuating?” shuddered Ted.

“Oh, You know what I’m getting at! There’s a connection between us, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed! I see every sideways glance! I know you have a thing for,” He paused for a second to blink slowly at Ted, “younger men.”

“That is absolutely ridiculous! This is slander, I could have you arrested for being here! How did you get the key to this room?” Ted was arguing, but he hadn’t broken eye contact. Their large orbs stared directly into each others, watering with longing. 

Suddenly Marco pushed Ted onto the soft comforter. Their mouth-holes gaped for each other as they fell into a passionate kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance in the war lands that were their mouths. Slowly Marco started to undo Ted’s tie, a double Windsor knot. classic. They rolled around on the spacious bed, loving each other. Ted noticed that Marco’s spit tasted like raspberries. 

Their ties were off and they frantically reached for each other’s shirt buttons. With each new button that was unbuttoned, their lengths got longer.   
The discarded white shirts lay on a pile on the floor, soon joined by trousers and ties and socks.

Marco rolled around to be on top of Ted and reached for his underwear. (he wore briefs with candy canes on them)

“Wait, Marco, this is wrong. Gay sex is a sin! You know that!” Ted argued.

“Oh Teddy bear, don’t think of it as sex. It’s just penis wars.”

Ted paused for a second before his eyes were drawn to Marcos’. He guided Marcos firm hands back to his briefs. 

Marco ran his hands over Ted’s body. He wanted to learn every lump, every roll, every mole, he wanted to learn Ted’s skin like the blind learn braille. Ted moaned with every new movement. 

Marco’s hands couldn’t go far before finding Ted’s rippling manliness. As he stroked Ted’s yogurt squirter, ted began to moan and cry out, “Oh, Marco!” Marco moved his hands faster along his shaft, feeling the whole thing from the base all the way to the top. It was large, like an extra large soda from McDonalds. Ted let out longer and louder cries as Marco went faster and faster before putting Teds stick into his mouth cavity. He sucked it like a popsicle on a summer’s day or a lollipop from the dentist. It tasted just as sweet. Ted’s stick tensed up as if it was going to explode into Marco’s mouth, which it did. 

“Oh, my darling marco,” said Ted. He looked Marco in the eyes as he looked up from Ted’s pelvic area. “Your eyes look so beautiful. They’re shining like real Ruby-os.” He smiled softly.

Marco swallowed all of Ted’s Tasty Juices and pushed Ted roughly to the other side of the bed. “It’s my turn to be pleasured,” he grumbled.

He had to stick his meat missile into Ted’s back-side opening. He looked frantically around for lube, but naturally there was none to be found. However on Ted’s nightstand there was a glistening bottle of America’s finest vodka. It would have to do. He opened the bottle and poured it over his thingy and Ted’s behind. 

“What’s happening?” Ted questioned, turning his fat neck to look at the man braced behind him.

Marco didn’t say anything before thrusting his great thruster into Ted. Ted cried out to the bed frame, cursing in ways that even the Devil himself would scorn. Ted could feel all of his length penetrating his hole, bigger than the largest poop he had ever shat. 

Marco pierced him again and again, and with each thrust his genitalia felt even larger in Ted’s booty. Ted was crying out in pain and joy, for he had never felt the feeling of anal before. After a while Ted started crying for more. 

“Deeper! DEEPER!” he screamed into the pillow. 

“You want deeper?” Marco huffed. (he had ran out of love wand, for he was not as large as Ted, and now felt hurt that he wasn’t big enough.) “I’ll give you deeper!”

Marco pulled out his man piece from Ted’s body like he was pulling a sword from its sheath and prepared to replace it with something else.

Ted started to turn around to face his sexy-time partner just as he felt something bigger than ever before in him. It was warm and harry, like the Grinch. He cried out one more time, the primal noises coming from his throat like they were being pushed from him by the object penetrating his backside. 

“I can’t do it!” Ted cried out.

Marco paused for a second before he laughed and said, “It’s republiCAN, not republiCAN’T.”

Marco’s hand was inside Ted. Marco smiled deviously down at Ted’s shaking body, shaking with pleasure from his boot toot. 

“Oh god, oh dear Lord, Holy fuck!” screamed Ted. Marco wondered if the Lord Himself would actually appear if Ted kept screaming like this.

Slowly Marco started moving his hand around in Ted’s toosh, and the cries got more intense with each new movement. He started to move faster and faster like a delayed train gaining momentum in attempt to catch up with the train several stops ahead of it. He was then moving his hand at speeds unknown to mankind. His hand was a flash of pale skin entering and exiting the gluteus maximus of senator Ted Cruz. It was going faster than it physically should be faster, so fast that he could no longer see it. (this was to be expected, because Marco Rubio went to the gym every morning and always lifted his weights.) It was going faster than a flying plane, and Ted’s previous cries now turned into a continuous drone that vibrated with every thrust. 

Ted let out one more great scream before his mighty man noodle let out yet another stream of man milk onto the expensive hotel quilt. Marco pulled his sore hand from Ted’s throbbing poop hole. 

They timed their pants to match up to one another and rolled over to face each other. 

Marco smiled just slightly at Ted’s gleaming face. “I love you, my Teddy Pooki Bear.”

Ted smiled, but as per usual, there was sadness in his eyes. “I love you too.” He rolled away from Marco. He had a secret, and he had to keep it away from the ones he cared about. (Marco.)

“Honey, what’s wrong? Did you not like it?” Marco’s voice fell as he uttered the last few words.

“No! No, it was great. You were great! It’s just- There’s things you don’t know about me and I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“Ted, that’s ridiculous. The paparazzi have leaked everything there is to know about you!” 

Ted sighed. “Not everything.”

Marco looked into his eyes and waited patiently.

“I’m dangerous.”

“How could you possibly be dangerous?” Marco laughed.

Ted let out a deep breath. He knew he couldn’t keep his secret from Marco. “I’m the Zodiac Killer.”

Marco jumped away quickly. “You’re what?!” he screamed.

Ted let rested his tubular head in his hands. “I’m the Zodiac Killer.”

“No, no this can’t be right. You’re lying! Why would you lie? Of course you’re not the fucking Zodiac Killer!”  
Ted didn’t respond.

“I can’t believe you. I said I loved you, but I can’t love a killer.” Marco’s face scrunched up and he wiped the tears from his pudgy eyes. “I don’t ever want you to look at me again.” 

Marco grabbed his dirty clothes from the floor and hopped into his briefs and undershirt. Who cares what the onlookers thought about him walking out of Ted’s room in I-just-had-sex clothes. He had to leave. He couldn’t let the Zodiac Killer see him cry.  
Ted watched Marco leave, and didn’t make a move to stop him. He knew this would happen. When the door slammed and the room finally fell quiet, he rested his head in his hands and let out a sob.

He heard three sharp knocks on the door. 

“Senator Ted Cruz? It’s time to leave for the plane. Wear your best red tie,” came Cecelia’s familiar voice.

“Give me a few minutes!” shouted back Ted. He noticed his voice crack and reminded himself to get it together, but he knew in his heart that he couldn’t. He had lost not just a lover, but Marco Rubio. He had been special to Ted.

Nevertheless, he grabbed a fresh suit and threw on a new pair of candy-cane briefs and headed out the door with his things packed in several suitcases, the clothes that Marco left behind tucked safely into the extra space in his bags.

THE END


End file.
